12.22.2004

MasterCrap Priceless

12.21.2004

I love making snow...penises?

12.20.2004

A Very Shabot Christmas!

12.15.2004

Crooked Israeli Refs

Two Israeli refs have been jailed for 6 months for fixing soccer matches. They got 7,000 shekels ($1,615) as bribes for fixing the matches. Who are these refs? The guys from Dumb & Dumber. Way to piss your life a way for a few lousy bucks. And good for the Israeli judge for giving these guys the smackdown. US sports should take a lesson.

Chastity Underwear

Now available at Target: Chastity Underwear complete with a lock and key. Written on the lock is "safe and secure".

It seems to me that if anyone got close enough to see the lock and key, the underwear are no longer safe and secure. Call me crazy, but I don't think these are going to be too effective.

12.12.2004

Hannukah Hotties!

Thank you Mr. Skin for this great list of Hannukah Hotties! Spark up the menorah and enjoy.

12.10.2004

Hannukah Hey Ya Song

The Chanukah Hey Ya Song was created by one funny mother Eric Schwartz. Check out SuburbanHomeboy to read more about Eric Schwartz.

Now as for the animation of the Hey Ya Chanukah Song, it was created by a fan of the song. Obviously the creator is not Jewish, but I give him an 'E' for effort.

Last count there were only two Jews in the United States, a husband and wife team of rebel Jewish Eskimos, in Jewneau, Alaska, who have not heard the Hey Ya Song yet. The Rabbi and I are working hard on getting a T1 line to their igloo before Chanukah ends.

12.09.2004

Is Walgreens Anti-Semitic?

The other day a Jewish co-worker of mine mentioned that she had a disturbing experience while shopping at Walgreens. She was trying to find labels for Chanukah presents. You know the one's I mean, they say TO: and FROM: usually with a little dreidel or menorah on them. Much to her surprise there were no Chanukah labels in all of Walgreens. Sure there were plenty of Christmas labels, but nil, nada, zero Chanukah labels.

Then she went to get a Chanukah card for her parents and there was a card for Mom and one for Dad, but not one for Parents. Which leads me to this: Do the people at Hallmark think that Jewish parents get divorced more than our Christmas celebrating friends? Perhaps that's why there was not a single Chanukah card that said Parents on it.

I don't know what's going on at Walgreens, but I think it just comes down to good old fashioned anti-semitism. Wait a minute, is there such a thing as good old fashioned anti-semitism? You would think down here in southern Florida you'd have about 50% of your holiday items geared towards Jews. I say ban Walgreens.

12.08.2004

Who's Your Rabbi? in the news

Check out this great article by Palm Beach Post writer Elizabeth Clarke about Who's Your Rabbi? and Jewish-themed gear.

12.07.2004

Who's Your Rabbi? in da news

Thanks to Tara Weiss at the Hartford Courant for mentioning Who's Your Rabbi? in an article on Jewish Pop Culture. Also mentioned were our friends at Jewsweek, JewSchool, NextBook and ReBooters.

12.05.2004

The World's Most Expensive Matzoh Ball Soup

The other day I wasn't feeling well so I opted to go to the local TooJay's deli and pick up some matzoh ball soup for lunch. The bowl of soup ended up costing me $118! No kidding. TooJay's is less than a mile from my office, but within that mile there is a ton of construction going on. I was sick, jamming to some Dave Matthews and not paying attention to the 35 MPH speed limit. I got a $115 speeding ticket. The lovely Palm Beach Gardens police officer proceeded to tell me how nice he was being for giving me a ticket as if it were just speeding, but not in a construction zone. If he had not been so nice to me, the ticket would have been $350.

If I had been feeling better I would have had a witty response to try and get out of the ticket. The way I felt I just wanted to get back to my desk and eat the damn soup. This is the first speeding ticket I've ever gotten that I really wasn't upset about. I was more concerned with eating my soup. As for the bald headed cop who gave me the ticket, I wish chronic diarrhea upon you for the entire holiday season.

12.04.2004

It's movie time...

Last night I watched the always funny movie Office Space. Tonight, oy vey, I'm going to watch Elf. Not Alf, Elf. Will Farrell is a funny dude, so I'm sure the movie will be entertaining at the very least.

12.03.2004

The Knish

Today I had the pleasure of stumbling upon TheKnish.com. The Knish is a Kosher version of theOnion. After reading through The Knish I all of a sudden have an urge for....a bagel.

12.02.2004

Whereth art thou SpongeBob?

Over 50 SpongeBob Squarepants inflatable balloons have been stolen from Burger Kings across America. These SpongeBob-nappings are sickening, leave the crabby patty flipper alone.

I had the pleasure of taking my kids to see the SpongeBob movie the other week. It's definitely not as enjoyable as the half-hour show, but I've taken my kids to see much worse movies, like Garfield. And the special guest appearance by David Hasselhoff tells me one thing about Mr. Knight Rider, he's now a total loser.

12.01.2004

Leftovers

The other day I finished up the Thanksgiving leftovers. There are only two kinds of leftovers that I'll eat: Chinese food & Thanksgiving dinner. Anything else might as well go in the garbage as far as I'm concerned, because I won't eat it again.